An Open Letter to the Girl that Can’t Seem to Find Her Footing

When you clicked on the title of this blog post, were you or were you not expecting to read a sappy letter that makes the girl who is already a little down feel even more sorry for herself? Well……….sorry to disappoint but I’m going in the opposite direction this time!

This letter is meant to encourage and empower you but in no way will it feed into the pity party. So here goes nothing! Enjoy.


I am from the South. Appearances are everything here. The girls are mostly married or engaged by 22 and have children by 25. The “starter homes” that are bought at such a young age are just stunning and the cars are brand new. Most of the women go to college for Nursing or Elementary Education and it’s unheard of to wear white after Labor Day. Then there are some women that things didn’t play out that way for them. You haven’t met your husband. Your “starter home” was a short lived apartment that you couldn’t afford and your next home is a bedroom in your mom’s house. You’re trying but you just aren’t there yet. Your car is nice but it isn’t that SUV with the third row that you so often see. You have a respectable job and are constantly trying to better yourself. You struggle. You get by and it just burns you up every time you see a new “I said yes!” post or that photo we all love so much with his and her shoes along side a tiny pair of baby booties.

I get it.

I’ve been there.

I can honestly say that I know that deep jealousy that washes over you every time you see those perfect photos on the highlight real.

So here’s the deal.

Get over it.

Have your moment and move on!

Stop dwelling on what you don’t have and start counting the blessing that you DO have!

God put you on Earth for a purpose WITH a purpose. Don’t waste that. Your timing isn’t what “everyone else’s” is. SO WHAT!? Who set that as a standard? Why would your happiness be based on someone else? It’s YOUR happiness. Same for self esteem….. it’s SELF esteem. That’s on you..

Be kind to yourself. If you’re working hard…be proud of that. Be proud of yourself. I’m sure if you stopped analyzing the details of everyone else’s life, you would probably see that yours is pretty great. Hold your head up and make sure that you give 100% everyday. Start living. I challenge you to stop focusing on appearances of those around you and learn to love yourself…..for yourself…

How do you know that your past relationship ending wasn’t God showing you a little grace and giving you another chance? When you lost your job, whose to say that it wasn’t God urging you to go own a different path? He cheated…God saved you from that….you could have gotten married and then found out… My car broke down and I had to walk to work…. well maybe you got the chance to take in some fresh air and get some exercise!….Okay….so the last one was a stretch but you get where I’m going with this…

There’s beauty in the breakdown and a silver lining to every cloudy day. Instead of being a victim, take “why me” out of your vocabulary and just start to live. Take things one day at a time but regardless of your situation, search for the good, because it’s out there.


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