This morning while I was live streaming Pastor Chris Hodges’ sermon at Church of the Highlands, God spoke to me. He instructed me to open an old Bible study I had done about a year ago….and revisit a person that I can more than likely relate to. So I did just that… I opened my ‘Seamless’ study and I found the study on Leah. This of course caught my attention so I decided to be obedient and dig a little deeper. If you don’t know the story, I would encourage you to read Genesis 29-32. It’s a lot to read, but it’s such a great story.
If you aren’t familiar with the story, it is about a man who is deceived into marrying a girl when he really wanted to marry her sister and eventually is married to both. Leah, Jacob’s first wife, was the deception. Rachel was the one he really loved. Regardless of the circumstances, Leah loved her husband even though he hated her. She gave him 6 sons and 1 daughter, each time praying for his approval, and each time getting shot down. God blessed Leah with children while her sister, Rachel, couldn’t have any. Eventually she did, but for the majority she couldn’t. Rachel wasn’t at fault here either. None of this was her choice.
If you know me, you know my story, and you’ve seen my past few years. I was Leah. No, I didn’t have children, but I was so desperate to make someone who was never going to love me, fall in love with me. It never happened, and I’m glad that it didn’t. Being on the other side, I see that God had a plan, but being in the midst of it was devastating. I can relate to Leah in the fact that I was living with the constant begging of approval and continuous loneliness, all the while praying for God to bless me. “Please God help me to be the person that he needs in his life.” Well, I prayed this, and maybe God did answer that prayer and make me that person…….but he was never the person I needed in mine. That’s a harsh reality and it’s tough for us, as women, to accept that.
I can’t imagine what Leah went through. Constantly praying for him to love her and never getting that moment. God was faithful to Leah though. He didn’t forget her. Leah actually stands in the lineage of JESUS through her son, Judah.
Today’s study has taught me that God will meet you where you are and help you through any event, but you have trust Him and His plan. My plans will not get me to Heaven, but His will. I also learned that you miss out on a lot of great things when you spend your life worrying and broken. Just as He blessed Leah, He will bless you too.